18. Be Intentional

Picking up from my last article, I wanted to offer a bit more context to this idea of never having enough time. It’s something I’ve grappled with a lot over the years… this feeling of being a victim to a hectic, chaotic world, where there are so many demands placed upon you that you feel the decision making, and subsequent direction of your life, are not in your control. But you already know that if you want to improve your health, fitness and your energy and well-being generally that you are going to need to find the time to take action. That’s quite a ‘mental jump’ to make, and so it’s too easy to always blame a lack of time for your in-action. You convince yourself that if you can just ‘clear the decks a bit’ you’ll be able to – 'get more sleep, get to the gym… blah blah blah’. Honestly, how often have you had that conversation with yourself… the one that goes – “I just need to get through this week, then I’ll be able to think clearly. I’ll make a plan over the weekend… start fresh on Monday…”. Then Monday rolls around, and because of your hectic week you decided (probably unconsciously) that, actually, what you really needed was some well-earned time off, so that plan you were going to make never actually materialised. Now, I’m not saying you weren’t due the break… I’m sure you really did earn and need some time off… but, the end result is come Monday you’re right back were you left off… with no plan, no time carved out to begin your journey to a better you and that feeling of overwhelm at how little time you have is back with a vengence, and it’s only Monday! So… ‘ok, ok… if I just get through THIS week…’ Wash, rinse and repeat.

The good news is that ‘time’ is just a state of mind… or rather how you relate to time is just a state of mind. Bear with me, we’re not away to go all ‘Inception’ here. All I’m trying to say is that there are two ways of thinking about time; two states of mind that will drastically impact how you feel about time. In my last article ‘Be Exceptional – Find the Route Around’ we already clarified that we all have the same amount of time… so it makes sense that it’s ‘how we feel’ about time that makes the difference. The actual time remains constant for everyone, but our perception of it determines how we feel and therefore how we act… or fail to act. One definition that I like for these states of mind are ‘Time Scarcity’ and ‘Time Abundance’. Now this idea of scarcity and abundance doesn’t just apply to time. They are great concepts to try and get your head around for all aspects of your life… money, opportunity, business… but for the purposes of this article we will stay with time.

So what do I mean by ‘time scarcity?’. Well, it pretty much as it sounds… if you view time in this way you will be drowning in thoughts like - ‘I’m so busy all the time, there’s never enough time, I’m always rushing about, I’m so stressed, I don’t have time to get everything done’. Does this sound familiar?

‘Time abundance’ on the other hand offers thoughts like - ‘there’s plenty of time, there’s no hurry, it’s up to me how I spend my time, I have enough time’. Doesn’t this sound nice?

I’m not suggesting it’s as easy as flipping a switch, in fact it’s one of the hardest things I contend with weekly. I have lived most of my adult life from a position of scarcity, in all aspects of my life. I’ve never had enough time, money, luck, opportunities, success… you name it. I didn’t feel like I had enough of anything that I was working for or that there was even enough still available for me to take a share. I wasn’t being greedy… wasn’t asking for fame and fortune… and I actively fought these feelings as I knew I was luckier than a lot of people (an awareness that has prevented me from spiralling in a lot of ways) but I still found myself in a ‘victim’ mentality, where no matter what I did… how hard I worked, there was just never enough.

So it’s wasn’t easy to abandon my familiar and habitualised approach to time, however thankfully there are a lot of things we can do to help move us closer to a place of abundance, which will in turn allow you to be more intentional with your time.

Firstly, you need to understand that you need a plan. Time management is key, as it immediately alleviates the feeling that you need to rush around, chasing to-do’s. I’m not talking about spending 5 minutes after lunch to map out roughly how your afternoon will go… no, we’re talking properly thought through, realistic planning at least the night before. Ideally, the week before… with everything planned out, almost down to the hour… every day… for 6 – 7 days. But before you freak out at the prospect of having a calendar full of tasks that fill every hour of every day, I’m also proposing that you calendar in your ‘down time’ too. This has two benefits… one, it stops you from regressing into a Netflix binge watch when something in your week 'throughs you off' and your mind and body want nothing more than to retreat to a place of comfort. It creates a sense of accountability… so if you choose to indulge in this escapism you know exactly what tasks on your calendar are being ‘bumped’ to accommodate it. Secondly, it ensures you have carved out some time to look after yourself – which is often the first sacrifice we make when our lives become hectic. Got a lot on… then I’ll just have to go with less sleep for a week or two… skip my morning run… get a takeaway to save time cooking… and so on.

So make a calendar (I use the Google G-Calendar as it allows you to create different calendars, all colour coded, that you can switch on and off for clarity) and as well as all your work, chores, travel etc; include ‘down time, family time, personal time’.

Prior to COVID-19 I used the following Calendar headings:

-  Journalling / Reading

-  Workout / Exercise

-  Dog Walking

-  General Sorting Stuff (included preparing meals, getting my kids ready for bed etc)

-  Drop off and Pick ups (I was dropping my wife and kids off at their respective works, school and nursery)

-  Girls Activities (which covered all my kids classes etc)

-  Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner / Snack

-  Mindfulness / Meditation

-  Chill out time

-  Work

-  Holidays

I realise it might seem daunting to have to think about all these aspects and plan them out in advance, but you’ll probably find that for the most part your life is pretty routine, and so it’s not actually that hard to pull together a daily timetable that you can apply to most days. Or it might be different every day, but then repeats weekly. Either way, there is likely to be some repetition, so once you have one week pulled together then its largely a case of tweaking it to suit the specifics of the week ahead.

Now comes the hardest part… ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THROUGH. I mean, you’ve spent all this time strategically planning your week to optimise your performance, well being and productivity, but almost immediately you’ll hit a task which your brain says ‘I don’t really fancy that just now, maybe we can miss that and pick it up later… I know lets swap it for ‘blank’. Do that and you’re likely to fall off the wagon all together, and then you’re right back to ‘ok, ok, I’ll just get through THIS week… next week I’ll definitely stick to it’.

Now, of course things are going to come up that are not on your calendar, so this is where it’s important that you are clear about what is most significant and of value to you. If it’s not already on your calendar then there’s is a reason you didn’t make time for it. So really question whether it now deserves the time it’s seemingly demanding, and act accordingly. It’s ok to say ‘no’. Hell, it’s important to say ‘no’, as it’s all too easy to let other people fully book your time before you’ve had a chance to schedule the things that are important to you. As Harvey MacKay said -

Naturally there will be things that crop up that you can’t simply say ‘no’ to, but even then, it’s important to ask questions. Is this unexpected task urgent?... it may have been sold to you as an ‘urgent’ task, but is it really, or is it just important? Is it a priority for you?... or is it a priority for someone else? That’s not to say you don’t act just because it’s not a priority for you, but you need to watch that others peoples ambition to keep to their timescales don’t overshadow your own ambitions and knock you off stride unnecessarily.

I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that it should take something pretty substantial to distract you from your goals. After all, the reason you spent time creating your calendar, putting all that thought and energy into managing your time is so that you can get you where you want to go. It’s to let you live a less stressed, less torn and more vibrant version of your life, where you make time for yourself and your family and all the things that are ACTUALLY important to you – because these things… the ones that mean the most, are always the first things to get dropped when life gets busy.