22. Creating a Roadmap

Having a ‘vision’ for your life might sound like a bit of a luxury. Especially if you currently feel like you’re literally just focusing on getting through one week at a time. There are lot’s of reasons you might feel like this – your finances are stretched and so you‘re feel like you’re just living day by day, your time all seems to be accounted for so you don’t feel able to plan dinner a few days in advance, far less have a vision for the distant future. Maybe you just have a long list of to-do’s gradually getting longer and longer, so if anything is going to get done it will be that! The idea of creating a long-term vision for your life maybe just sounds like something only organised, better-off people have the luxury to think about. It’s not for people like you who just get on with things… and god knows you have plenty of ‘things’ right now! Maybe you’re just getting on in years and the idea of having a vision for your life goes against what society has deemed you should be doing at your age? I mean, we don’t often hear stories of 65-year olds launching bold business ventures… or taking on the ‘Seven Summits Challenge’. But whatever your circumstances, whatever your age… you’re not dead yet… and so you need a vision. Otherwise, what are you doing? Where are you going? Yes, your struggling through every week… but why? What is the struggle for? What do you see as the end result for all your hard work? You might say your ‘just surviving’ but that’s probably not really the case, although I appreciate when you stuck in a state of overwhelm it might feel like that. But you know there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel... even though you might have given up hope of reaching it. Everyone has somewhere they want to go… but whether you spend time thinking about it and getting clear on the destination is another question.

Consider… how many times have you set out with a clear intention and thought ‘I’ll be happy when I accomplish that’. Me too. I didn’t work though did it? That’s not to say those accomplishments weren’t all great, and I’m sure they came with at least a short period of satisfaction, knowing you had set out to do something and then ultimately achieved it. But that feeling didn’t last. Simply reaching those goals didn’t bring your life to a place of fulfilment where you said ‘right, that’s it… I’m done… no need to do anymore, I’m happy now’. After all, that’s not what happiness is. One way that I’ve come to think about happiness came from Tony Robbins, who suggests that - growth equals progress, and progress equals happiness. The more work I do in self development, the more I seem to find that this sentiment, or at least variations of it, are widely agreed. It’s basically that old adage, that - ‘life is about the journey’. There is no ultimate goal you will get to and decide that you’re content… no final destination where happiness is a certainty. It’s like saying ‘I’ve done Google’… now what?

For context, in my life I have followed the milestones that society has suggested … all of which I had built up in my head to be the next step towards a happy and fulfilled life. The idea being that once I had achieved them all I would surely be almost there… I mean, throw in a lottery win and I’d be set, right? I worked hard at school so I could go to university and graduated with a PG Diploma in Architecture, I got a decent job, and found time to visit a few bucket list countries somewhere along the way. I got married (in Kenya… tick one more off the bucket list)… had two kids… you get the idea. With the exception of my choice to go to University and study architecture, which I have ranted about in other posts, all of these things have brought immense joy to my life. My wife and kids mean everything to me, and my wedding along with the birth of my 2 daughters will always be the proudest and most happy moments in my life. Yet, here I am… almost 4 years after the birth of my youngest and I’m still a long way from that happy, fulfilled life I mentioned… you know, the one I thought was on the other side of university… and marriage… and kids. While a lottery win would still be a welcome bonus, I’m starting to realise – happiness is not going to be won or achieved in a single moment. Don’t get me wrong, this is definitely not a ‘poor me’, type of statement… but rather an acknowledgement that it’s not the single act of getting married and having kids that brings happiness and joy, but rather the ongoing pursuit of having a great marriage… having an incredible relationship with my kids, that will help bring a sense of contentment to my life. As the same sentiment is echoed for my career, friendships, health, etc… it seems Tony is right… there will always be a desire for progress and growth.

So, we need a vision. Something that allows us to move forward with intention. You see, a clear vision allows us to set goals, and know our why. It allows us to move our life in the direction that we want it to go, and achieve long term what we want from life, be it family, career and anything in between. It’s too easy to get bogged down and lose sight of your vision. You become ‘okay’ with things being ‘okay’… and life can just seem a bit ‘blah’. But who wants ’blah’ as their obituary? No, its time to get clear about your future… break away from your emotional comfort zone and create a compelling image of what lies ahead.

The first step is to create your vision… start to define that compelling future you want to journey towards. This is not about creating specific goals. A goal is something you do to move you towards your vision – the stepping stones that help get you where you want to go. Your 'vision' is your why. It’s your values, your passion. Your vision is what keeps you excited and motivated, so it needs to be something you care about deep down. It has to be important to you. But it’s not necessarily easy to know what we really want in life. I mean, it’s often easier to know what we don’t want, and gaining clarity over what we really desire can be tricky. But it’s worth doing, as having clarity on where you ultimately want to be can help you be more intentional with your decisions, rather than just reacting to whatever comes your way. That’s not to say your vision can’t change as time passes, after all, every day is a school day so it’s normal for your view on life and what’s important to evolve over time. The point is, you need to have a roadmap of where you are heading, so you can start creating the life you want form a place of purpose and intent.

That’s how I tend to look at it… as a roadmap. I talked before in my post ‘Get up off of that thang’ about finding your why, and how I found myself in the realisation that the road I was on was not one of mediocrity… but one of misery. It was this relatively bleak image of the future that created my leverage and jolted me into action to make changes in my life. So, if picturing the ‘worst case’ scenario can act as leverage… the catalyst for action, having a clear vision that encompasses your values and purpose in life can act as the roadmap. One shows you where you do not want to be and where you might currently be aiming… the other offers a clear image of where you want to go and allows you make conscious decisions now to actively move towards a better future. Both act as leverage, but they tap into two different parts of our personalities in order to get you there… the fear of regret, and the hope for what can be.

So even if you think having a vision sounds like a bit of a luxury, the simple truth is that everyone deserves more than a ‘blah’ life. But living with purpose doesn’t happen by accident and only you can decide what matters most to you. Take time to think about your vision… get clear about who and where you want to be… then just follow your roadmap.