2. Where Do I Start ?

As it turns out, the first step is a pretty obvious one. Give myself a proverbial kick in the butt…and take a look at what I already know before trying to find some external life raft of inspiration to cling on to. What does everyone always say is the best thing to do to get yourself in a more positive mindset? Go to the pub? Nu-uh. Go get some exercise. Think of all those endorphins…. you’ll feel great afterwards etc. When you stop and think about it, it makes sense really. If you want to change…and I mean really start a change then the first step is not hours of research followed by trying some new fad that you’ve just discovered online. It’s taking information that you already know and actioning it. Those long standing, deep rooted beliefs that have been hiding away in your mind. You already know that getting up a bit earlier and doing some exercise will help your mood and set you up for the day. Eating healthier foods will give you more energy. But what you probably don’t realise is just how much of a difference these small changes can make, and the knock on effect it can have to your overall thinking at a time when you want to take your life in a new direction.

It’s not just exercise either…. there are probably tons of things you already know that will benefit you, but like me, you’ve never really taken the time to do them. Making a to do list, almost daily, not in your head, but taking the time to write it down. Getting more sleep. Spending less time in front of screens, whether TV or phone, cutting down on alcohol. All pretty simple stuff but how many of us consciously action these basic snippets of wisdom in a meaningful way.

So that was my starting point. Action the things I already know will help me. And the great thing is, you can do this very quickly. It doesn’t require research or external guidance. It just requires a bit of focus and stubbornness, and a dedication to yourself to start looking after yourself a bit better. After all, surely, you’re worth it? Now, take it from me, as my wife would testify, I am not a man of action. I am a man of ‘let’s make sure I have all my ducks in a row before I take the first step into anything’. So this did not come naturally to me. Like most of what I’m doing just now (including writing this blog), I was out of my comfort zone and challenging years and years of practice at ‘not actioning’ things. I recently listened to a podcast by Natalie Bacon, a ‘life coach’ in Chicago, about taking massive action. Without going into too much detail just now, she talks about ‘massive’ and ‘passive’ action. Massive action largely being a determination and refusal to give up despite repeated failure, and passive action being the time you spend researching, taking courses and learning in order to prepare for something…..but ultimately it is time you are actioning nothing. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s important to know what you’re doing and learning new information is always a good thing, but not at the cost of standing still. And that’s me in a nutshell. I love learning new skills and love the notion of ‘every day is a school day’. I also like trying new things, predominantly DIY in recent years. But when you combine these two attributes with a lack of confidence, or fear of failure this results in a lot of passive action, with nothing tangible being achieved.

In brief, it doesn’t matter how many videos on YouTube I watch about building my own kitchen, unless I go and get the wood and actually just start putting it together there will never be a kitchen.

As luck would have it, I read two quotes recently from unknown authors that offer some advice.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there”

If you really want to change, to ‘grow’ as a person, then you need to be prepared for a bit of discomfort. And secondly…

“Take massive, imperfect steps towards your goals”

So just start. Don’t think…. or overthink as I am currently programmed to do. There’s no rule saying you can’t learn as you go…but in order to get into the right mindset, and start trying to figure out how to be the mother, father, friend you want to be….and live the life you want to live….you just need to start. Start with the basics and see where that takes you. You’ll find you change almost overnight. You’ll be drawn to more positive messages, want healthier foods, want better sleep. You might seek out a few inspirational people on twitter or Instagram, watch a few documentaries about feats of human achievement on Netflix (I can recommend the ‘Iron Cowboy’ and ‘The Redeemed and the Dominant’). Before you know it, you will already have started the change the way you think, which at this stage is surely the whole point.